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Immoderate Musings; Quibblesome Quarrels; Risible Rhapsodies on Music and Morals 
by David Van Alstyne 
Verses 145 - 196 Verses: 150 / 160 / 170 / 180 190 GLOSSARY PAGE 1 / PAGE 2 / PAGE 3 / PAGE 5 / PAGE 6 
(It 145) must take no less than the unlikely likes of such an endless, pestiferously impassioned induration; a portentous prominence; an exotically pagan plague; a palpably protrusive insurgence and infestation; a 146) gaunt gestalt; an ungovernable impersonalization of basely banausic and ratty ratiocination for the bovine grasp and cloddish captivation of this unconditional consignation to such uglification as well as a 147) tragically thaumaturgic existential convergence; an unforseeably solipsistic coincidence and conspiration of stringently strained and sheerly sciolistic sophistry and scoffably stilted and stuffy pseudo-sophistication to 148) mount and maintain such a minatory mist in the miasmatically blurring and befogging mystification of the fuzzy feasibility of mutely muzzy mimicry in all manner of misdeed and malleable malversation.) As I 149) simmer and stew in this slough of accomodation, a slow-brewing broth of indigestible denegation, in a quag of qualms, queerly quivering and quite easily queasy from perpending my own part and unavoidable participation in this 150) unseasonable winterworld; this waking Walpurgis Night of valetudinarian floccipaucinihilipilification; this unwelcomely betokening, brutally weighty whop and wallop; this boom of gloom, doom, looming death and devastation; this 151) detestably down-dumbing dunning of demoralization by bombastic bluster and unblinking bloviation from the jungle of jockeying juvenescent jackals, all jamming and jarringly jeering in their jumping jubilation, my 152) knees tend to buckle; I roll around writhing, roughly rubbed and riled at the rude revelry rising from this quagmire of unquotabe quips and querulous quibbling at such levels of demonstrably inexpugnable innervation as to 153) douse and drench any decent discrimination with a cataractous deluge of surely drowning dubitation on the faintest shimmer, the dimmest glint, or even a dislimned glimmer of any primordial plan or predetermination for a 154) well set, smart, sharp and happily snappy presentation of salvifically salutary intellectualization, or any commensurately foresightful provision for abbreviation, if not for the pellucidly piercing penetration, of all the 155) diurnally damaging, beholdably batty bumblings of the burned out, Unbelievably Bubbleheaded Booboisie; that baseborn plurality of overbearing bimbos and their knee-jerk reaction: the reflexive limitation of 156) any sort of challenge or even hypothetical danger from the tutorial workings of introspective excavation in the transitory maw of soul-searching self-assessment or any other spirit-everting self-examination. Indeed, the 157) penumbra of highly glorified glitter, glitz and glamour within even the most instinctively cautious and conservative, respectfully recessive, tentative and timorously realistic, (in a word: unromantic) visualization of 158) wanting to resort to horizontal aerobatics; a vaudevillian side-show of ballistic punctuation; a straightforward, swashbuckling, slubbering swan song of hyposensitizing high-velocity self-defenestration now 159) finally fades to moot in deflation of cancellation by high-timely virtue of lugubrious moderation in a nirvanically fortuitous five-star funk of fatigue and a blessing benefaction of neurasthenic dissipation; in a 160) recessional inanition of anorectic dispassion; in an attitudinally cool climate of costive immobilization; in a benedictory boon of wholesomely demolishing disinterest; in a risky superfetation of anaphylactic enervation, and 161) now a bit wiser, well wizened and wearily wistful, I woozily wobble, wary of whirling, wiggling and widely whiffling in wrenching doubt, disconnection, the blahs of distrait decrepitude and limp-wristed, washed-out volitional debilitation from the 162) gruesome gaffes, gags and gadarene grotesqueries; the unaccountable commissions of astronomical nincompoopery; the madness so nocuously rife, ripe, ripping and roiling in the foremost, most vortically atrabilious confabulation that could 163) ever possibly inform with such fissiparous fatuity the open visibility of our primed operant idiocy; our freely foiling foibles; our fetes of fiendish fleering and frigid fribbling in plebeian pachydermatous miscalibration. (What 164) well-tailored warpage for precursors of dotage; a stricture of superfluously comprehensive incubation for anachronistic senility by means of modification through premature geriatric transmogrification!) As I 165) struggle half-strangled while staggering and stumbling, trammelled and trampled flat, almost to annihilation, and trapped under a tremendously taxing tortuosity, a terrifying toll of truly triturating trepidation, I 166) try not to come completely unglued, or to fickly flee, feebly flag, flinch, fiddle or fidget, fully fed up with the feral fracas, the war for musical taste; the frightful conflagration that could 167) spontaneously combust and speedily explode at the causative but purely unintentional instigation of the very most onerously obnoxious otiosity of weaseling wind-baggery and forensic ostentation ever to 168) pique, poke, prod and plainly pervert the public palaver with infusions of argy-bargy that hearten the recitation of wantonly spouted spiels of polemical woop-de-do in salty scenes of tensely contentious disputation. But 169) Avast! Hark! and Hope Ahoy! Here comes a bit of favorably haphazard happenstance happily hopping up, bringing harbingers of help in the emergent incorporation of haply serendipitous psychological fortification in this 170) pulsant potpourri of promotional pulp and pabulum painstakingly positing palmy peace and palliation; this belittleably entertaining antidote (so diligently amassed with hardly a single shred or twist of disinformation); this 171) cute, catchy contraption of cathartic contrariety; this prettified pitch for therapeutic rehabilitation; this wee bagatelle; this wacky little stunt of arcane verbosity and syllabic inflation; this 172) sadly soupy syllabus of superficial sentiments; this fancified fardel of infectious fascination; this pungent mulligan stew of stern scholiastic scolding seasoned well with sublunarily outsized excitation; this 173) rousing rendition of grandiloquent rodomontade all packaged into highly risible rhapsodies of rhythm and rhyme; this baroquely daedal discourse with supposedly purgative purport of passably plain and perspicuous exfoliation of the 174) congesting congeries of colloquial convolution which perdurably closet, conceal, cover, cloak, cache and camouflage the whole cockamamy cozenage of coercive condescension from clever cockalorums: such incorrigible obfuscation; this 175) self-promoting arrogance almost to the point of ruination (even while allowing the littering of light-hearted levity); this architectonic foisting of newfangled farragoes; this quodlibet, caliginous yet void of fabrication (well nearly); this 176) maladroitly partitioned and protracted pullulation; this nutty, neurotic nonpareil of preceptive sloganization all pertly primmed and pumped up plump, a serried posy of puffery; this marginal, deciduously neologistic dissertation which 177) still tips and teeters too tiringly toward turning into a terribly tautologous, teratological tome; an untenably trouncing travail of terrene trivialities; this turbulently turbocharged and troublesome transvaluation; this 178) uppity, truculent treatise of toplofty trifles; this ursine tractate of treacly tripe and taradiddles torridly teeming with all the rancidly squishy fruit of renitent rancor ridden with tumid fermentation, and 179) gussied up and padded with a punishing plethora of highly persnickety pedanticisms comprising pedestrian ponderosities of fatly pigheaded preachment and priggishly puritanical proselytization; this 180) claptrap seething with a sopping permeation of paralogismic horsefeathers and plutonian punditry; this pan-panoramic palette of lyrically libelous, though no less lambently luculent, lucubration all 181) plushly prepped, preened and primped; all tamped and stamped and tightly packed pat with pithy patches of illogically profane, yet implacably predicatory prognostication all 182) predictably paced with well-placed periods of progressively pure Pecksniffian pandering and pervasively paved with Panglossian poppycock to posture a patina of placid pacification while 183) vilipending, reprehending, nit-picking and pindlingly paltering with a billowing bag of disingenuous ploys; with an emollient pastiche, a tart but tasty patois pregnant with inexpiably mendacious elaboration in an 184) unproven, supposititiously panacean praxis of shameless shuffling and a sort of shallow shilly-shallying in a runaround of unrealizable reconciliation by ad hoc scrimmages of syncretistic mediation; this 185) platter of peccantly prickly pitter-patter and priapic prancing in slaphappy pleonasm, oozing with tropes of sly syllogistic sleight made comfortable by a penchant for prestidigitation through 186) skunking skulduggeries of subterranean subterfuge, and slippery subversion, and sequels of sabotage by solidly subcelestial dissembling via multi-shaded lies of immensely specious oversimplification, and by 187) using a lenitively euphuistic rhetoric of enfeeblement by awkwardly allusive etiolation, in fine, by the unflappable unfolding, forming and flying of fibs fixed in feckless fawning and foolish assentation for the 188) laboriously loquacious, sloppy and slobbishly slipshod, lunkheaded, lamebrained and long-winded lubrication of transparently snide slurs and smears well tucked into clumsy obscurities of sententious insinuation with a 189) tersely versicular verdure of veritable verbicide and a palmary particularity of venturesome ventilation, an untoward awakening of dogged virtuosity in the ambits of loathsomely labyrinthian vermiculation that 190) vie to varnish volcanic surges of vehemence in cheap shots of punitive editorial commination with a papilionaceous, adroitly dapper dance of dodgery by the accoutrements of graft and deftly duplicitous orchestration and to 191) veil, right up to the verge of dripping schwarmerei, under a veristic veneer of verisimilitudinous replication and a crafty construct of recondite codification with all kinds of caricature and spurious characterization, all the 192) vainglorious imports of your vagarious verjuice focusing the parameters of pent up vim, vigor and vivification that enkindle the bonfire and stoke up the edacious flames, those inventions of voguishly vitriolic vituperation which 193) vamp up such heart-hardening, fearsomely freakish phobias bringing bearish bugaboos and egregious ebullitions of whizbang razzmatazz, goody-goody gobbledygook and gale-force gusts of bullying fustigation; such 194) unreasoningly raging and concerted campaigns of virilely vulpine, vile and volubly vulturous pestilence of contageously venomous vexation; vertiginous vendettas of character assassination while 195) half-heartedly hiding behind a hiply handy hubble-bubble of recreant hemming and hawing, hyaloid ho-humming and honeying with a mellifluously effluent, perfective nisus of enchantingly Pickwickian misrepresentation such a 196) tetchily tenacious, intractably inflexible, viperous and veridically virulent variety of villainous valiance in a vale of visceral vengeance and viciously vindictive vilification. 
GLOSSARY portentous prominence - something gravely serious and threatening (for example World War III, or how you would react if somebody ate your chocolate pudding by mistake) exotically pagan plague - our society's weird embrace of destructively unbridled indulgences (as shown, for example, in our renaming the Ten Commandments to be the Ten Suggestions) palpably protrusive insurgence and infestation - a troublesome uprising that's impossible not to notice (as was, for example, the American Civil War) Merriam-Webster Dictionary ungovernable impersonalization of basely banausic and ratty ratiocination - this is the reason why nothing is left that could lead you toward higher aesthetic and spiritual values, because in this dog-eat-dog world you have to keep your eye on how to destroy the people around you in order to make a nice comfortable living and be happy bovine grasp and cloddish captivation - you show as much understanding and ability to stay interested as a cow (or goat, sheep, ox, or buffalo for that matter) unconditional consignation to such uglification - total surrender to the idea that beauty is not worth striving for Merriam-Webster Dictionary unforseeably solipsistic coincidence and conspiration of stringently strained and sheerly sciolistic sophistry - where no one imagines you would ever stoop to suggest such wild and crazy ideas just to make yourself seem educated scoffably stilted and stuffy pseudo-sophistication - your pompous attempts to appear highly cultured and full of knowledge Merriam-Webster Dictionary miasmatically blurring and befogging mystification - where you remove something from the realms of ordinary perceptual experience by asociating it with putrified pollution and death (like making sure your private diaries are safe from prying eyes by bathing them in blood and then having them sprayed by an angry skunk) fuzzy feasibility of mutely muzzy mimicry - the brain-tickling possibility of people doing what you ask them to do, even if they do it in silent confusion malleable malversation - various forms of political corruption which can easily be adapted to keep them hidden from the police, or from the voters Merriam-Webster Dictionary indigestible denegation - a state of denial which keeps you feeling like you want to throw up quag of qualms, queerly quivering and quite easily queasy - you are lacking in self-confidence and coming apart at the seams perpending - thinking it over Merriam-Webster Dictionary waking Walpurgis Night - a nightmare you can't wake up from because you are not sleeping valetudinarian floccipaucinihilipilification - where you have a bunch of hypochondriacs sitting around pretending to be sick while trying to destroy each other with horrible insults about how healthy they look unwelcomely betokening - indicating something you would rather not see (such as a large fist moving quickly toward your nose) brutally weighty whop and wallop - a smashing blow to your head where a gentle tap would have done very nicely boom of gloom, doom, looming death and devastation - a small, unusual sound that causes young pilot to yell to the passengers, through his open microphone which he thought was turned off, "Aauugh! We’re all going to die!" Merriam-Webster Dictionary bombastic bluster and unblinking bloviation - the best way never to speak to your children, or to the judge at the time of your sentencing; the way some conductors speak to their orchestras (before they get cooked and eaten; see "How to Cook a Conductor" in the music section of this website) jockeying juvenescent jackals - young employees eager to get ahead by doing the bidding of cowardly and manipulative bosses jamming and jarringly jeering in their jumping jubilation - people celebrating and having a very irritatingly good time (like neighborhood parties which attract police sirens and fire engines, or where they launch ballistic rockets from the back yard, or you hear words like "No, please! No, no! Don't . . ." followed by a loud scream and a thud) Merriam-Webster Dictionary roughly rubbed and riled at the rude revelry rising - made very angry at the sight of uncivilized people having so much fun quagmire of unquotabe quips and querulous quibbling - where you are sinking in quicksand while arguing with someone over something so trivial that you've already forgotten what it was, and using language you wouldnt dare repeat to the police demonstrably inexpugnable innervation - where it's plain to see that you can't simply turn off this kind of physical meltdown Merriam-Webster Dictionary cataractous deluge of surely drowning dubitation - a raging flood of doubt (your reaction when your son, who is too young to drive, says he didn't take the family car out for a joy ride in the middle of the night, when it was raining, and has no idea why the car is dripping wet and the gas tank is now nearly empty) faintest shimmer, the dimmest glint, or even a dislimned glimmer of any primordial plan or predetermination - the tiniest hint, the merest suggestion that there might once have been, far in the distant past, even the smallest rogue thought of how to plan the setting up of a procedure for hiring a committee to look into possible ways to broach the subject of beginning the earliest stages of planning Merriam-Webster Dictionary commensurately foresightful provision for abbreviation, if not for the pellucidly piercing penetration - early plans, as big as the challenge, to at least minimize, if not yet fully understand, the problem Merriam-Webster Dictionary beholdably batty bumblings - crazy foul-ups that you can at least have the enjoyment of watching as they happen (one of the pleasures, we are told first hand, of working in the White House) Unbelievably Bubbleheaded Booboisie - the voters baseborn plurality of overbearing bimbos - low-minded mob of arrogantly thieving fools (for example, members of congress) knee-jerk reaction: the reflexive limitation - where, without thought because the impulse doesn't make it to your brain, you do something which others might consider a bit rash, like throw yourself under the moving wheels of your daughter's car in the driveway hoping that, after running over you, she'll stop before she reaches the street. Why? Because now she's driving alone for the first time and you're terrified, for crying out loud!! Merriam-Webster Dictionary tutorial workings of introspective excavation - the beneficial process of looking deep into your soul, while for others this would mean cleaning out and contemplating their belly buttons transitory maw of soul-searching self-assessment - the frightfully gaping jaws of self-knowledge (but don't worry, they never stay open very long) spirit-everting self-examination - turning yourself inside out, searching for the truth about who you really are Merriam-Webster Dictionary highly glorified glitter, glitz and glamour - all style, no substance, like the Hollywood culture of self-worship instinctively cautious and conservative - an attitude with which it's highly unlikely that you would attend some solemn occasion like the funeral for a President of the United States, or the Pope, and in a moment of silence jump up from the front row, wave at the cameras and yell, "Hi folks, it's me!!", or wear scuba gear complete with flippers and mask to lead the choir in church, or throw a lit firecracker from the balcony into the tuba during a symphony concert. Would you?? respectfully recessive - tending to withdraw from the limelight, out of concern for getting yourself killed tentative - hesitant, uncertain timorously realistic - where, since life has cruelly denied you the bliss of ignorance, you can't escape knowing what's going on, and that scares you to death unromantic visualization - an unimaginative, unemotional way of seeing things in your mind Merriam-Webster Dictionary vaudevillian side-show of ballistic punctuation - a truly explosive diversion from the matter at hand (such as filling your mouth with mashed potatoes and sneezing) swashbuckling, slubbering swan song - where, in your final appearance on stage, you are so busy acting like a Hollywood movie pirate that you end up falling into the orchestra pit hyposensitizing high-velocity self-defenestration - where you throw yourself out the window, with a running start from the other side of the office, gaining enough speed so you can hope to land in the bushes on the other side of the street, but of course you miss, and being pumped up with adrenaline, your body's being flattened by a passing steam roller doesn't hurt too much, so it's okay Merriam-Webster Dictionary deflation of cancellation - not quite as neutralized, eliminated, or canceled as you had thought ("Sorry boss, but remember the guy I was supposed to whack? Well, it looks like I didn't whack him as good as you wanted. And now you might want to leave town.") high-timely virtue of lugubrious moderation - one of your finest qualities,which is to not act as crazy as usual because you're too depressed, and always not a minute too soon nirvanically fortuitous five-star funk of fatigue - where, in an inexplicable twist of good fortune, you have reached a state of blissful obvilion to all stressful external realities, and you learn that it's much to your advantage that your arms and legs have decided they are too heavy to move blessing benefaction of neurasthenic dissipation - the gift, for which you ought to be grateful, of an emotional disturbance that removes all your yearnings for activities such as throwing yourself out the window without opening it first, or adding bullet holes to your body when simple cosmetic piercings are enough for most people, or tattooing on your forehead, "If you can read this, thank a teacher!" Merriam-Webster Dictionary attitudinally cool climate of costive immobilization - where, because your unusual lack of passion these days, you move so slowly that we would need time-lapse photography to see if you're moving at all benedictory boon of wholesomely demolishing disinterest - where it's a blessing to us all that your indifference now finally prevents you from doing what you were planning to do superfetation of anaphylactic enervation - where, in a vicious cycle, you keep getting weaker and weaker Merriam-Webster Dictionary woozily wobble - where, feeling weak and dizzy, you accidentally perform a triple pirouette which make you feel even more weak and dizzy so now you stagger from side to side wary of whirling, wiggling and widely whiffling in wrenching doubt, disconnection, the blahs of distrait decrepitude and limp-wristed, washed-out volitional debilitation - where your fears of becoming a major piece of human wreckage are already turning you into a minor piece of human wreckage Merriam-Webster Dictionary unaccountable commissions of astronomical nincompoopery - what politicians do so often that we tend not to notice madness so nocuously rife, ripe, ripping and roiling - when congress is in session foremost, most vortically atrabilious confabulation - a most outstandingly mean-spirited discussion Merriam-Webster Dictionary fissiparous fatuity - the kind of foolishness that drives people apart open visibility of our primed operant idiocy - where, right in front of everybody, we continually choose the most stupid ways to do things freely foiling foibles - the personal flaws which we allow to keep us from achieving what we want fiendish fetes of fleering - the good times people have when they're making fun of others plebeian frigid fribbling - wasting our time and means because we don't know enough to care plebeian pachydermatous miscalibration - where people have skins as soft and supple as a rhinoceros hide, which protects their hearts and brains from new feelings and thoughts, and thus their political discourse no longer ranges along a continuum of reasonable thinking, but becomes concentrated at opposing, and sometimes lunatic, extremes Merriam-Webster Dictionary stricture of superfluously comprehensive incubation - a limitation that is more effective than you need it to be for allowing growth and development anachronistic senility by means of modification through premature geriatric transmogrification - where your brain, though it's still young, becomes old and rigid because it's part of your equally young body which is also aging before it's time Merriam-Webster Dictionary trapped under a tremendously taxing tortuosity - unable to escape from something overwhelmingly complex (like the U.S. Tax Code) terrifying toll of truly triturating trepidation - the frightening price of absolutely crushing anxiety Merriam-Webster Dictionary fickly flee, feebly flag, flinch, fiddle or fidget - what would happen if one used itching powder in place of talcum powder feral fracas - a great big brawl where people attack each other like wild animals, like Christmas shoppers at Costcos and Walmarts everywhere frightful conflagration - a rather serious level of contention, similar to World War II Merriam-Webster Dictionary causative but purely unintentional instigation - that which causes you to say, "Oops!" when you accidentally make something happen but didn't mean to; as when Mrs. O'Leary's cow accidentally kicked over a lantern which started the fire that burned down most of Chicago in 1871, or like when the great Japanese Admiral Yamamoto said after planning and leading the attack on Pearl Harbor: "I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve." In other words: Oops! onerously obnoxious otiosity - a useless pain in the neck, or perhaps in the glutei maximi weaseling wind-baggery and forensic ostentation - describes all speeches made by political candidates from the wrong party Merriam-Webster Dictionary infusions of argy-bargy - slipping vigorous arguments into your conversation just to prove your point, especially if you are trying to intimidate by means of acting like a pirate (Arrrrgh!) hearten the recitation of wantonly spouted spiels of polemical woop-de-do - describes the scene when a daughter answers her parents as they wrap their fingers around her neck to encourage her to explain the progress of her homework salty scenes of tensely contentious disputation - discussions where passion is about to devolve into fist-fights Merriam-Webster Dictionary favorably haphazard happenstance - an occasion of good luck (like falling out of an airplane through clouds dense enough to ease your landing into a swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding) harbingers of help in the emergent incorporation of haply serendipitous psychological fortification - indications that, just by good luck, conditions are increasing the likelihood of your regaining your sanity Merriam-Webster Dictionary painstakingly positing palmy peace and palliation - where a publisher might try very gently to convince the author and the editor of a new book on the subject of love that they shoud calm down and stop hitting each other belittleably entertaining antidote - a comforting source of relief which some pickle-sucker is bound to insist is no good because it's too much fun diligently amassed with hardly a single shred or twist of disinformation - written with great efforts to avoid any exaggerations or falsehoods (except for the ones that work out very nicely) Merriam-Webster Dictionary pitch for therapeutic rehabilitation - a great idea for how to feel better: simply return to your former glory (Now, if I could just remember where I put my wig, my hearing aids, my false teeth, my glass eyeball, and my prosthetic nose) wee bagatelle - an item of no real size or substance (like your bank account) arcane verbosity - lots of words that nobody understands (like this poem, for example!) syllabic inflation - where your syllables seem to be having babies Merriam-Webster Dictionary fancified fardel of infectious fascination - a collection of skillfully crafted entertainment that really gets under your skin pungent mulligan stew of stern scholiastic scolding - where the widely various arguments that someone spews against you, when taken all together, no matter how intelligent they seem, merely strengthen your opinion that the spewer is an opinionated fat-head sublunarily outsized excitation - where your carnal, materialistic mind is taking on more exercise than it's built to handle, so you might want to plug your ears in case your brain explodes Merriam-Webster Dictionary highly risible rhapsodies of rhythm and rhyme - a poem that is supposed to make us laugh a lot baroquely daedal discourse - a very intricate explanation (like the one your 13-year-old offered to explain why he purchased an Alaskan fishing lodge plus an amphibious airplane for getting there with your credit card over the internet) supposedly purgative purport of passably plain and perspicuous exfoliation - an explanation of things which they assure us we will not only understand, but it will leave us feeling free from all the moral pollution we've brought upon ourselves by behaving the way we do Merriam-Webster Dictionary perdurably closet, conceal, cover, cloak, cache and camouflage - going to great lengths to hide something cockamamy cozenage - something ridiculous that tricks you into doing something even more ridiculous coercive condescension from clever cockalorums: such incorrigible obfuscation" - when you are forced to listen to self-important people of low character talk down to you, when every word they say is an attempt to cover the pain of being who they are, and they leave you feeling stupid and utterly confused Merriam-Webster Dictionary allowing the littering of light-hearted levity - where your jokes haven't gotten so bad yet that people start calling the police architectonic foisting - where, by careful design, you slip something past the public's attention (the first rule of conduct for those in elective office) newfangled farragoes - where situations and ideas get all jumbled up in ways which, until now, no one has ever been goofy enough to imagine possible quodlibet, caliginous yet void of fabrication - an elaborate argument which, even though it's obscure, is at least completely sincere Merriam-Webster Dictionary nutty, neurotic nonpareil - although its creator might be of questionable sanity, this is peerless and without equal preceptive sloganization - where, for teaching purposes, you reduce broad general principles down to pithy, attention-getting phrases pertly primmed and pumped up plump - aggressively exaggerated serried posy of puffery - a tightly packed assortment of overblown phrases in support of an idea (the stuff of political campaigns) marginal, deciduously neologistic dissertation - a just barely acceptable piece of writing which occasionally becomes so meaningless that the author sounds psychotic Merriam-Webster Dictionary untenably trouncing travail of terrene trivialities - where it's virtually impossible to tolerate earth-bound things which have become so boringly unimportant that, in comparison, they make the phone book look like "Lust in the Swamps," or "A Day in the Life of a Hollywood Movie Producer" turbulently turbocharged and troublesome transvaluation - an especially wild argument that upsets your apple cart by forcing a fresh look at ideas you've built your life upon Merriam-Webster Dictionary ursine tractate of treacly tripe and taradiddles - a systematic argument, sounding as if it's written by a grizzly bear (reflecting the grizzly's limited intellect and love of honey), full of pretentious nonsense which is disgustingly sweet torridly teeming with all the rancidly squishy fruit of renitent rancor ridden with tumid fermentation - rotting in the overflow of what happens when your inflexible stance of opposition gets overwhelmed by riotous excitement Merriam-Webster Dictionary comprising pedestrian ponderosities of fatly pigheaded preachment - made of important sounding but unimaginative statements that supposedly tell everyone what to do, while making no allowance for individual circumstances (and to any pigs who might be reading this, it's only an expression and means no offense: we are very pro-pig and don't care how fat or skinny you are because it's your character that determines what kind of a pig you are priggishly puritanical proselytization - where you invite people to bask in God's love by making them feel so guilty that they become afraid to do anything Merriam-Webster Dictionary pan-panoramic palette of lyrically libelous, though no less lambently luculent, lucubration - a complete array of pleasantly delivered lies and insults (once again, what we hear every day from all sides of the free press, upon whose unbiased objectivity the survival of our democracy depends ) Merriam-Webster Dictionary tamped and stamped and tightly packed pat with pithy patches of illogically profane, yet implacably predicatory prognostication - sections of your writing which, despite their density of unintelligibly foul language, get right to the point in predicting what will happen to the rest of us if we don't start cleaning up our language Merriam-Webster Dictionary pervasively paved with Panglossian poppycock - filled with overly optimistic bullpucky posture a patina of placid pacification - where you look like you're trying to make peace, like Adolph Hitler did in the 1930's, with nice smiles, warm handshakes, kind words, and lots of tanks, airplanes and bombs Merriam-Webster Dictionary reprehending - denouncing or otherwise voicing your disapproval nit-picking - unjustified criticism of certain aspects of things that don't really matter (like complaining about Adolf Hitler's mustache just because of how disgusting it got when he blew his nose, or because it made you wonder how many kinds of soup got stuck in it, or if he had ever set it on fire when smoking pindlingly paltering with a billowing bag of disingenuous ploys - using all the low-minded tricks expected of a puny little weak-kneed hypocrite, just to trip up your opponent emollient pastiche - where you've lessened the intensity of something by adding a variety of more pleasant elements (like adding turkey and dressing, potatoes and gravy, peas and carrots, candied yams and chocolate pudding to your normally ascetic Thanksgiving dinner of bread and water) tart but tasty patois pregnant with inexpiably mendacious elaboration - an entertaining way of story-telling which involves weaving a tangled web of exaggerations that nobody will ever be able to unravel (the great fun of which explains why some people go into politics and "news" reporting) Merriam-Webster Dictionary shameless shuffling and a sort of shallow shilly-shallying - a style of leadership that is indecisively shifty and evasive runaround - what they give you when you call Customer Service ("Hello, this is the Runaround Department. How may I fail to help you?") unrealizable reconciliation - where two people will never agree as long as each holds on for dear life to his own opposing version of the facts ad hoc scrimmages of syncretistic mediation - the battles that arise when you try to make incompatible forces work together when they absolutely refuse to do it no matter what (like the political parties in congress, no matter the cost to national survival) Merriam-Webster Dictionary priapic prancing in slaphappy pleonasm - where you attempt, like your boss in the office, or like politicians or other criminals, to be a "real man" by saying over and over again, in a highly befuddled manner, "I'm a real man!" oozing with tropes of sly syllogistic sleight - bleeding out a creepy slime of crafty arguments hidden in figures of speech that sound like nothing more than double-talk (how lawyers perform when they get warmed up) penchant for prestidigitation - a strong inclination to deceive people by slight of hand Merriam-Webster Dictionary slippery subversion - where nobody seems to be able to stop you from corrupting things through degrading debaucheries and schemes of moral depravity sequels of sabotage - all the underhanded works of destruction you continue to do after you've done the first one solidly subcelestial dissembling via multi-shaded lies of immensely specious oversimplification - telling lies by revealing only those bits of truth that make you look good, and leaving out the rest Merriam-Webster Dictionary unflappable unfolding, forming and flying of fibs fixed in feckless fawning and foolish assentation - where in trying to get along with liars, you can't help acting like one yourself Merriam-Webster Dictionary sloppy and slobbishly slipshod - where you're work is a mess lunkheaded, lamebrained and long-winded lubrication of transparently snide slurs and smears well tucked into clumsy obscurities of sententious insinuation - where your long blasts of mean-spirited lies and insults are carefully concealed behind big words that nobody can understand (and that probably includes you) Merriam-Webster Dictionary palmary particularity of venturesome ventilation - a good example of having the nerve to take your life into your own hands by saying what you actually think untoward awakening of dogged virtuosity in the ambits of loathsomely labyrinthian vermiculation - amazing skills which, while better left unused, are unfortunately stirred up through detestable complexities of trickery and deceit Merriam-Webster Dictionary punitive editorial commination - punishing someone by saying nasty things about them papilionaceous, adroitly dapper dance of dodgery by the accoutrements of graft and deftly duplicitous orchestration - where, very quick and spritely like a butterfly, you make a living and cause things to happen by actually being a coniving two-faced hypocrit, and a thief Merriam-Webster Dictionary veristic veneer of verisimilitudinous replication - where something highly extraordinary is made, on the surface, to look highly ordinary, so people won't be afraid of it crafty construct of recondite codification - the new system of names you've invented for things, which is so complicated and confusing that nobody can actually use it all kinds of caricature and spurious characterization - where you get so creative in referring to things that even you forget what it was you were referring to Merriam-Webster Dictionary focusing the parameters of pent up vim, vigor and vivification that enkindle the bonfire and stoke up the edacious flames - making perfectly clear, for those who are confused, exactly what it is that makes them hopping mad as if their shoes are on fire inventions of voguishly vitriolic vituperation - special ways you've figured out for looking your best when you insult people Merriam-Webster Dictionary fearsomely freakish phobias - fears that are so weird that the mere fact of having them frightens you more than the fears themselves bearish bugaboos - imaginary things that scare you even though you know they're not real, because often you forget that, and only imagine they're imaginary egregious ebullitions - horribly violent outbursts of passion occuring at the wrong time and place, such as singing a baby to sleep, or proposing marriage in a library whizbang razzmatazz - dumb little demonstrations designed to deceive and impress at the same time (such as Adolph Hitler's carefully crafted mannerisms in public speaking) goody-goody gobbledygook - utter nonsense designed to make the speaker look like he has a halo under his wig gale-force rushes and gusts of bullying fustigation - the kind of lies and insults you expect from a pompous wind bag Merriam-Webster Dictionary virilely vulpine - powerfully crafty (like a fox who eats his spinach) vigilantly vile - always working very hard to be as repulsive as possible vulturous - like a vulture or any similar type of human who thrives on the misfortunes of others pestilence of contageously venomous vexation - a devastating epidemic of poisonous aggravation that's very easy to catch vertiginous vendettas of character assassination - vicious missions to destroy people's personal reputations Merriam-Webster Dictionary recreant hemming and hawing - where instead of taking a courageous stand on an issue, you slither around it like a coward hyaloid ho-humming - people's (typically teenagers) transparent attempts to look bored and unimpressed honeying with a mellifluously effluent, perfective nisus of enchantingly Pickwickian misrepresentation - making a terrible story sound better by using sweet, smoothly flowing words that people want to believe Merriam-Webster Dictionary intractably inflexible - neither bending nor changing for anyone viperous - behaving like a snake veridically virulent variety of villainous valiance - a truly poisonous kind of twisted and depraved dedication to something (like any of your opinions which differ from mine) vale of inveterately visceral vengeance - a world of long and deeply felt, but not well thought out, desires to get even (with that kid in the third grade, for example, who filled your book bag with pancake syrup) viciously vindictive vilification - the bloodthirsty things you say about someone, driven by vengeful desires to destroy them (Not so good with a family member or a dear friend, but if it's in a business setting, it's alright. Hey, it's only business!) Merriam-Webster Dictionary 
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